Confession: I often think of the legacy I will leave behind me.

If you will allow me to be transparent and simply share for a moment…

I wonder often what my wife and kids will remember of me; what the students who came through my ministry, the churches that I’ve invested in; those my life has crossed will think and remember of me.

This weighs especially heavy on my mind today in the wake of a local Christian School teacher who died in a tragic accident this past weekend while camping with his wife.  The outpouring of testimonies that his life had on his students, fellow teachers, and friends has been an incredible reflection of the power of God to use a willing and obedient believer who simply desires to be used for His glory.

My wife’s Youth Pastor died suddenly at 36 years old.  We were married at the time, but his impact on the life of my wife is unable to be measured.  It was profound to say the least.  There are few areas of my ministry that have not in some way been affected by his life and ministry as well.

Anyone in ministry can attest to the loneliness that often accompanies it.  It seems odd that a “job” that requires one to be completely surrounded by people can be filled with such doubt and loneliness.  Yet it is at times an almost constant presence.

Anyone in youth ministry can especially attest to the feelings and doubts of whether anyone is really listening.  If you are making any difference at all.  More often than not it is the call of God on our lives that pushes us to stay the course.  And once in a while…every once and a while, the clouds part as if from some scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail and we see a student “get it.”

Our lives are shaped and marked by death more than we realize.  Death of close friends, mentors, parents, grandparents, children, spouses, and others all play a part in shaping who we are and who we become.  The lives lived prior to those deaths often determine the degree we are shaped and marked by their passing.

In the end, I hope to be known and remembered for desperately loving Jesus.  Living with a genuine passion for the gospel.  A husband who loves like Jesus, and listens like a friend.  A dad who loves like a Heavenly Father, and plays hard with my kids.  A Youth Pastor who encouraged, pushed, pursued, pressed in, and pleaded for God to show up in the lives of teens.

Most of all, I would hope that my life would have most clearly been marked not only by a death, but mostly by a resurrection.

Be encouraged today.  You ARE making a difference and having an influence in the lives of those around you.  They ARE listening (sometimes).  This thing we call Youth Ministry IS worth it.  Stay the course!