Having children and being a Youth Pastor has both advantages and disadvantages.  I’ve previously written about events that changed my ministry forever.  Having children was definitely one of those.

There are though some things I don’t like and worry about when it comes to being in Youth Ministry and having children.  These particularly seem to affect me with our younger kiddos.

If you’ll allow me to be transparent and share a bit, here are several hard things about having kids and being a Youth Pastor.

1.  My kids inevitably end up being the Youth Group mascots

My wife is pretty involved in our ministry here.  As a result, our kiddos are as well.  My oldest has gone to Youth Camp since she was six months old.

Don’t get me wrong, my kids love church, love being at church, and love the Youth in our ministry.  There are rarely Youth Ministry events though that my kiddos are not at though.  This has also spilled over in the past at times into other church events, and it is often assumed/expected that my kiddos be present at everything.

 2. Others fail to realized the sacrifice my family and especially my kids make so that we can minister to other’s kids

Many times in ministry, those we minister to are focused on their needs; what we can do to minster to them and to their family.

There certainly isn’t anything wrong with that.  Rarely, though do others stop and think of ways to invest in the minister, his kids, and his family.  In many cases, the kiddos bear the brunt.

3.  My kids are often up late or out late because of Youth Ministry

We try to be very intentional with this, but many times it is what it is.  Late nights in ministry often mean late nights for the family.

There are seasons of ministry where this is worse than others, but it happens a lot.  Ministry is not a 9-5 job.  It is not a job that stays at the office.  It is not a job that only affects the “employee.”  It affects the family.

4.  My kids see and experience the really ugly sides of people, church, and ministry

We try our best to protect our kids from the ugly stuff, but they’re pretty smart.  They may not know specifics, but they are smart enough to know something is going on.

While most church members and families in church see a certain level of this, Pastors see behind the curtain.  Unfortunately, there are things that you can’t protect your kids from–things you can’t explain to your kids.

I hate this for my kids…

5.  It is very often difficult to invest in time with my wife

It’s no secret that you’re not going to get rich in ministry.  Money and budgets are limited.  Vacations can be few.  Babysitting is expensive (with 4 kiddos).

By the time you pay a babysitter and the cost of a “date night” out, many Youth Pastors cannot afford it.  As the marriage suffers, the family suffers.  As the family suffers, the ministry suffers.

Every Youth Pastor wants to invest in their spouse and family.  Many are not afforded the opportunity.

Kids in ministry have a unique task.  Raising kids in ministry is a daunting task for parents.  While there are things I don’t like about having kids in ministry, there are also things I LOVE about having kids in ministry.

In the next post I will address the things I love about having kids in ministry.  For more on balancing family and ministry check out this episode on The Longer Haul Youth Ministry Podcast!