5 Reasons You Struggle to Get Along With Your Pastor

Get Along With Your PastorI love my pastor.  He is a great leader and full of wisdom when it comes to shepherding people.  I have been fortunate to serve under pastors that I appreciate and admire.  Through the years, I have learned a great deal from them.  There have been times however, that getting along have not always been so easy.  In those moments I have recognized in my own heart several reasons causing me to struggle to get along.  Your relationship to your Pastor is vital to the success of your own ministry.  If you are in a season where you are struggling to get along with your Pastor, here are five likely reasons:

You need to communicate with your Pastor better (or at all)

It has been my experience that almost all conflict with anyone is a result of poor communication.  You feel that you have communicated something clearly, but they did not understand.  They felt they communicated clearly, but you did not understand.  Expectations from both are assumed.  If you are struggling to get along with your Pastor it is very likely that there is a failure to communicate.

You need to show grace to your Pastor

Grace is a tricky thing.  If we are honest with ourselves, we struggle to fully grasp it.  We have a difficult time understanding God’s grace toward us and therefore struggle in extending grace to others.  We long for and expect others (especially our Pastors) to show grace to us, but we are not as quick to do the same to them.  If you are struggling to get along with your Pastor you need to show grace…undeserved favor in case you have forgotten.

You need to encourage your Pastor

You know very well how much you long for encouragement.  How often do you stop to consider how much your Pastor needs that same encouragement?  When was the last time you encouraged your Pastor?  Ministry is a lonely place.  If you are struggling to get along with your Pastor you need to encourage more.

You need to pray for your Pastor

If people spent as much time praying for their Pastor as they do complaining about their Pastor the church would be a much different place.  The hearts of those praying would be changed, and the hearts of those being prayed for would as well.  The greatest thing you can do for your Pastor is pray for them.  If you are struggling to get along with your Pastor you need to spend less time complaining and more time praying.

You need to stop being so arrogant

I tell people often that I was an expert at marriage until I got married and an expert at parenting until I became a parent.  It is easy to look at others and thing we know better or could do better.  Just as most parents and church member do not understand the weight you feel as a Youth Worker, you cannot fully understand the weight of being the Pastor in charge.  Show some humility and realize there is more to pastoring than you can know.  Recognize the reality of difficulties your Pastor must face.  If you are struggling to get along with your Pastor you may need to look no further than your own arrogance.

What about you?  What difficulties have you had getting along with your Pastor?  Are there any reasons you would add?  Leave a comment and share!

Photo credit: Gramicidin / Foter / CC BY-SA

About the Author
I am a Youth Ministry veteran of twenty four years, and currently serve as the Student Pastor at High Desert Church.  I help equip and encourage Youth Pastors through this blog and podcast The Longer Haul.  My passion is helping Youth Pastors create a ministry of longevity that they truly love.  I am the grateful husband of Sarah and the dad of Emma, Anna, Lizzy, and Jack.  I am a speaker, lover of vintage VW’s, and the owner of one 1972 VW Westfalia Bus.

2 comments on “5 Reasons You Struggle to Get Along With Your Pastor

  1. Matthew says:

    great post

    1. Thanks Matthew!

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