I have often said throughout my ministry "I want to have an impact on the…
My wife and I were recently talking with a group about how we find time to effectively do ministry while caring for our family. She responded without hesitation and with such great wisdom.
To be honest, I often stand back in awe of my wife. I definitely married up. She is an amazing woman who loves Jesus, our family, our youth workers, and our students.
We have been in Youth Ministry our entire marriage. I have seen her lovingly, relentlessly, passionately pursue students over the last 15 years.
Her response to the question of ministering effectively while caring for our family was pure gold, and I couldn’t wait to share it with you. In fact, her answer to that question unlocks the key to having a real influence in Youth Ministry.
What was her response? Well, I’m glad you asked…
Her response was this:
We have always taken the approach of inviting students into our lives and bringing them along, so that in turn, they would invite us into theirs.
Wow. Honestly, the two of us have never really talked about it in such an articulated way. We have no family/ministry vision statement of how one relates to the other…at least we didn’t.
The truth is though, as I sat there listening to her share and reflecting on the last 15 years of our journey in Youth ministry, that it is exactly how we have always approached ministry. It is all we know, and it is the model I think we find in Jesus. Here are a few thoughts of taking this approach to Youth Ministry:
1. This approach takes time to really grab hold, but when it does…
This doesn’t happen overnight, but you must start to lay this foundation early. It will happen over time as you continue to invite them into your life.
In some (most) cases it may take a year or more to really see students taking advantage of the opportunities you give them. It will probably take longer for them to invite you in.
Once this takes hold in your ministry though, be ready. It grows and grows. More and more students will come along and invite you into theirs.
2. This approach can be exhausting
Inviting students into your life and bringing them along will look different for everyone. You must set boundaries and rules for sure.
That being said, it will no doubt include many late night conversations…like very very many much late night conversations. They are exhausting at times, but they are so worth it.
My advice? Buy extra soda and snacks for them, and lots of coffee for you.
3. This approach can be painful
Real life can be painful. When students come along they see you for all of who you are. They will see your good and your bad days.
Likewise, you will see their good and bad days. Walking through life, real life, with your students can be painful. It is not always three steps forward, two steps back as they grow in their faith. Sometimes it is just many steps backward. Sometimes, a lot of times, all you can do is cry with them, pray with them, and love them.
4. This approach is SO rewarding
Taking this approach builds strong, lifelong relationships with the students and families you serve. Once you are invited into a student’s life, you are a part of their life for the rest of it.
Watching students grow in the Lord as they grow older and start their own families is a tremendous honor and blessing. Watching students you poured into, minister and pour into students of their own is an unbelievable feeling.
5. This approach is lasting
This approach isn’t a flash in the pan so to speak. It is one that is lasting. I still regularly get phone calls, emails, and text messages from students well into their adult lives. They ask for advice, share praises, ask for prayer, and even encourage me. It is a wonderful thing.
I am convinced that the key to real influence in Youth Ministry is that of inviting students into your life, bringing them along. In turn they will invite you into theirs.
