If you’ve been in ministry a day or two, you’ve likely experienced the issue of playing favorites.  It is inevitable.

Sometimes it comes from parents or other church members, sometimes it comes from students, and sometimes it comes simply from an internal struggle we create ourselves.

Several questions seem to come out of the struggle surrounding the issue of playing favorites.  Is it okay to have favorites?  Is it REALLY possible to do ministry without having favorites?  What would the Bible teach us about being closer to some than others?

I’m afraid that these, along with a ton of other questions often keep us from being effective at all when it comes to ministry.  Here are three things to keep in mind when it comes to the issue of playing favorites:

Be prayerful

Prayer should really be the starting point of everything we do, but often it can come last.  Pray for God to lay certain students on your heart and to bring certain students to mind.  Pray for students as they come to mind.  Pray for families as you think of them and as you hear of struggles they are having.

Be mindful

Be mindful of, speak to, and minister to those that you may not be closest to.  There will be students that you relate to better than others.  There will be students that are present more than others.  The relationships with those students will likely be closer than those who aren’t around as much.

Be mindful of perceptions that may form or that may already exist.  Perception can be reality.  Just because you are closer to some students than others doesn’t give you the excuse not to minister to others.

Be intentional

Be intentional with your time.  Be intentional with your attention.  Make the most of the opportunities you have both with the group at large and with your smaller groups.

Be intentional to build a team around you.  You simply cannot and will not relate (or like…let’s be honest) every student that comes into your ministry.  This makes it even more important to have others around you who may relate to those students you do not.

Be a Youth Pastor to SOMEBODY

In the end, a fear of playing favorites must not lead you to fail to minister to anyone.  You can fail to be effective at all for trying to be effective to all.  Choose to be a Youth Pastor to SOMEBODY.

Do you struggle with playing favorites?  How do you deal with it?  What would you say to someone very much in this struggle right now?